Wednesday, December 18, 2013

What I've learned from this class

                This course has taught me so much and inspired me to seek out further families. This course has taught me the structures of families, marriages and how to better raise children. I also learned how to handle conflicts in an effective way, how to find love and keep it. Everything that I learned in this course will transpose into my daily life. This course has made me grateful for all that I have.
                Families are eternal and divine. We have the power to change our past circumstances, we can become better than our parents or grandparents. The gospel of Jesus Christ parallels perfectly with families. We as men and women have a divine responsibility to raise righteous posterity and teach them the truth. I am so blessed to have been born into the gospel. Family Relations has taught me so many useful tips to keep a marriage together. Learning about marriages has impacted me the most. Personally, marriage is very scary for me. My families history in marriage hasn’t been the prettiest, I am grateful to know that I have the power to change this pattern. Husbands and wives can be happy in a marriage for time and all eternity. The next few paragraphs will express some of my favorite things I learned through taking this class.
                People often say “I am falling in love”. Brother Williams noted that falling is an accident, love is not. Each day we choose to love someone, we choose to accept them for who they are, their imperfections, their strengths and weaknesses. Perhaps we need to look at love differently, instead of “falling” into love, we should choose to. We need to prepare ourselves for the right person, prepare to be better and continue to make that choice to love that person after we are married.
                                                                    Next Point
                “It’s not a problem with communication, it is a problem with your heart”. Often times we think couples just can’t communicate effectively. Many couples point fingers, and put the blame on each other.  It is not about communication, or for that matter money, religion, children anything; this is a matter of the heart. If BOTH couples hearts were soften would there really be any of these issues? No, humbling oneself requires sacrifice, if both couples were sacrificing they would find a common ground. In my personal opinion no issue is too big to fix, if our hearts were centered and focused in the right areas, couples would be able to work things out.
                Taking a Family Relations class has helped me prepare for my future family and the relationships I will have. I am grateful to have learned about true doctrine, research, and to learn how to examine real research and defend the family.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

This blog may be offensive to some people; however, I feel very strongly about this topic. In reading chapter 12 in my Family Relations class I learned about parenting, why people choose to have children and why some do not. While reading one line stuck out to me “ …many of them prefer to either not have children or to delay childbearing because they highly value their leisure time.” First off, who doesn’t value their leisure time? Second, how selfish does that sound? You value your own personal time too much to give to another being, to be a huge part in another individuals life, one that you created.
                I have noticed many women now days feel entitled to work outside the home, to become CEO’s, major political figures etc. When did being a mother not measure up? I understand that being a parent is not for everyone. However, if you have your life together, your head on straight and a way to provide for a child there is no reason to not have one. Those couples who just say they don’t have time are too interested in themselves.
                Children teach parents so much, children allow parents to learn and grow. Children bring joy, struggles, successes and failures. I find it astonishing when someone says they don’t want kids. You must be so consumed in your own life to not even think about raising a family. If you ask any parent if the regret having children I can almost guarantee that everyone of them would say “no”. Parents often say, “it’s a challenge, but the most rewarding and thrilling experiences”. Having children provides and opportunity for husband and wife to become closer, to share more joy with eachother. I understand that you can receive fulfilment from a job or various activities. However; nothing compares to creating and raising a child together. Those people who are determined to not have children, I ask you to consider. Do those things you enjoy now really give you joy and fulfillment? Do they make you work at it? Is it tough, but rewarding? Does it pay off? Does it keep giving and teaching you? A full time job, working overtime or being head CEO of any company will not give you full joy if you have no one to share it with.
                Having children is a blessing that has been given to us. We grow more when we have things that challenge the mind, body and spirit.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Attitude of Gratitude

   This week I was given the opportunity to reflect upon how much good this life has to offer. I was able to reflect upon how truly blessed I am to be a member of The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I would like to take this opportunity to express the love that I have for my savior. I am so grateful to have a loving Heavenly Father who directs all my paths. I am grateful to have the Holy Ghost assist me in every aspect of my life. The gospel of Jesus Christ is one that changes the heart, this then changes our lives. When we truly understand the gospel and are committed to our Savior our actions begin to change.
    May I suggest that when we love our Savior as he loves us, serving others, being kind, and charitable will not seem like a chore. It will not be a challenge to go around and do good. The gospel of Jesus Christ provides comfort, peace and sanctity. I am thankful that I was born into the true church upon this earth. I am grateful to have a best friend who knows the intentions of my heart, who knows my strengths and weaknesses.
    The holiday season often gives us the chance to reflect upon how much we have. I would suggest that we take the time to reflect upon how much we truly have. Having an attitude of gratitude starts with positive thinking, take time to list things you are grateful for. Offer up prayers of complete gratitude, not asking for anything from our Father in Heaven. Our Heavenly Father wants to bless us, we need to be diligently thanking our Heavenly Father to become closer with him.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

What Stresses Stress Us the most....EEEK!!

    There are two types of stressors that can occur with anyone. The first stressors are Internal Events...any ideas on what would be an internal stressor for you? Internal stressors deal with things such as a wayward child, drug abuse, a distant marriage or relationship with a child, aging, attending college, pregnancy. Internal stressors according to Lauern are events that begin from someone inside the family. External stressors would be events such as natural disasters, terrorism, stock market and minorities. External stressors are events that begin from someone or something outside of the family.

..... SO which is harder to deal with? Something residing from within your immediate reach or something completely out of your control?

Is it harder to deal with things we can't necessarily change or is it harder when we know we have an affect and have the power to change things?

     Conflict and stresses can often have the "make it, or break it" affect. Some families cleave unto each other and support one another when tragedy or stressful events happen, others are destroyed by them. One study showed the top three stressors in Families are One, Death of a child. Two, death of a spouse or parent and three, divorce. Unexpected events can truly throw families for a whirl wind. Studies show that communication is one of the biggest indicators, this determines how well a family will cope with stress or tragic events. When families communicate and express their struggles and feelings they find something to connect and draw them together. Families who communicate are showing support (which is most important in times such as these). Relying on each other and seeking out hope in any religious affiliation can be a great asset to overcoming such heartache.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

What Do Mates Look For

      Many people wonder what attracts the opposite sex to one another. Have you ever wondered what qualities are most attractive to your mate? Most males and females actually look for the same thing in eachother, surprised? An experiment asked men and women to rank top ten qualities in order. Both men and women ranked the first five exactly the same.

1. A mutual attraction, love
2. Dependable Character
3. Emotional stability, maturity
4. Pleasing disposition
5. Education, intelligence

      Perhaps the most important qualities each sex looks for is dependability and character. "Good Looks" were both ranked as 8th by men, and 9th for women. Good looks are clearly not what keep men and women together. Once mates have found eachother what keeps them together? Studies show that opposites may attract initially, but these differences fade out. The Con's to opposites attracting eachother are as follows: Contrary interests and values generate arguments, you are more comfortable with people who share your own background and goals in life, and the more alike you are, the easier it is to understand and appreciate each other. Similarities provide common ground for couples to relate to. When disagreements and differences arise it is easier to fall back on similar grounds. May I suggest that differences may intrigue us to one another. However, couples should agree on major topics for the best chance of marriage success. It can be very challenging when two people are torn apart because of religion, politics and family.
      Another factor that contributes to a successful marriage is not cohabiting before marriage. Many people believe they increase their rate of success if they "test" the waters, before fully committing and legally signing the papers. Research shows that the success rate for a lasting marriage decreases greatly for couples who cohabit before marriage. Perhaps cohabiting creates a casual mindset towards the relationship. Might I suggest that people who cohabit are less likely to give it their all if they know they can back out easily. Marriage sets a certain precedent, there are expectations and people are more likely to try harder if they are legally bound. Once married couples need to devote time to one another. Many couples forget to praise one another, they forget to talk and appreciate eachother. One researcher suggests that couples spend 2 minutes in the morning talking to eachother, and roughly 10 minutes at the end of each day talking to eachother. Five minutes should be devoted to telling eachother how wonderful one another is and there should be five minutes of kissing, each day. Couples who communicate often and show physical attention to one another are less likely to be contentious with one another. I would advise all couples to cherish one another, show love, respect and communicate! Those who put the extra effort into their relationship will reap the benefits.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Rethink your relationship

     We are often times so caught up in our busy lives that we don't take time to evaluate our love lives! It is vitally important to realize that there are different types of loves; Healthy and destructive. I feel very strongly that this Post would be most useful to teenagers. The teenage years can be so confusing in regards to relationships. Researchers have studied two distinct kinds of love, Passionate and Companionate. As you continue on in this post, evaluate your own relationship.
      Passionate love is what helps keeps things going; however, this solely can't sustain a relationship. Passionate love is fueled by emotions, sexual desires, and often times jealousy. The passionate love is one that excites, it changes continuously and is usually short lived. Passionate love is very common for teenagers. We often times mistake drama and fights with excitement. We can easily confuse ourselves into thinking those fights bring us closer together, they show how much "passion" there is. DO NOT BE MISTAKEN BY THIS! The love that lasts is Companionate.
      Companionate love creates strong emotional bonds, the sexual desire varies and you become each others best friend. This relationship is stable, dependable with little jealousy.
May I make a call to all females, do not go for the emotional roller coaster, do not mistake drama for excitement and passion. The relationships that are "Fantastic when its good, and Horrifying when its bad"... they are no good. It is so easy to get caught up, to feel needed and desired. Do not fall to this facade. Companionate love is just that.... a companionship. Your lover should be your best friend, your support system. Evaluate your relationship, what do each of you bring to the table? What do you offer to one another? Are you a better person with this person in your life? Take time to ponder these questions. Sometimes it is difficult to get out of the Passionate love cycle, especially if we are trying to fill a void someone else has left. Stay strong Ladies and have the courage to seek for the healthy relationships. One that pushes, edifies and enriches your life! YOU CAN DO BETTER!

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Do we really have to have it all?

   The world is constantly telling us we can become whoever we want to be. We are told we can change ourselves and to always seek the absolute best. Why is it that we are constantly seeking to "one up" someone? I would ask you to ponder these thoughts before continuing on with this post.
    I have seen countless of people exhaust themselves with trying to become the best. So many people are wasting away money, time and energy to prove something. Those who are involved in this life style will never be content. We must be careful with the spirit of entitlement. When we become used to living a lavish life and having it all; we often are subjects to never being content.  When we focus all of our energies on the things of the world we must be leaving something out. What it is it we are neglecting? Our family? Spouse? Children? God? Sometimes our perspectives need to change. We need to refocus our attention on our divine purpose. We need to fortify our relationships and create peace in our homes. The scriptures, and prophets tell us that there is no greater joy than creating a heaven on earth; within our homes.
   Let us be more careful at what we "need". We don't need that huge flat screen TV, the latest iphone, the newest pair of UGG boots. If we would spend our energy trying to "impress" or please God we would find much more happiness and peace in our lives.
TRY this week to make an extra effort to make God your number one priority, check in with him..he will tell you, you are enough and you have enough!