What Do Mates Look For

      Many people wonder what attracts the opposite sex to one another. Have you ever wondered what qualities are most attractive to your mate? Most males and females actually look for the same thing in eachother, surprised? An experiment asked men and women to rank top ten qualities in order. Both men and women ranked the first five exactly the same.

1. A mutual attraction, love
2. Dependable Character
3. Emotional stability, maturity
4. Pleasing disposition
5. Education, intelligence

      Perhaps the most important qualities each sex looks for is dependability and character. "Good Looks" were both ranked as 8th by men, and 9th for women. Good looks are clearly not what keep men and women together. Once mates have found eachother what keeps them together? Studies show that opposites may attract initially, but these differences fade out. The Con's to opposites attracting eachother are as follows: Contrary interests and values generate arguments, you are more comfortable with people who share your own background and goals in life, and the more alike you are, the easier it is to understand and appreciate each other. Similarities provide common ground for couples to relate to. When disagreements and differences arise it is easier to fall back on similar grounds. May I suggest that differences may intrigue us to one another. However, couples should agree on major topics for the best chance of marriage success. It can be very challenging when two people are torn apart because of religion, politics and family.
      Another factor that contributes to a successful marriage is not cohabiting before marriage. Many people believe they increase their rate of success if they "test" the waters, before fully committing and legally signing the papers. Research shows that the success rate for a lasting marriage decreases greatly for couples who cohabit before marriage. Perhaps cohabiting creates a casual mindset towards the relationship. Might I suggest that people who cohabit are less likely to give it their all if they know they can back out easily. Marriage sets a certain precedent, there are expectations and people are more likely to try harder if they are legally bound. Once married couples need to devote time to one another. Many couples forget to praise one another, they forget to talk and appreciate eachother. One researcher suggests that couples spend 2 minutes in the morning talking to eachother, and roughly 10 minutes at the end of each day talking to eachother. Five minutes should be devoted to telling eachother how wonderful one another is and there should be five minutes of kissing, each day. Couples who communicate often and show physical attention to one another are less likely to be contentious with one another. I would advise all couples to cherish one another, show love, respect and communicate! Those who put the extra effort into their relationship will reap the benefits.